IRONIC

how the last blog i wrote really really literaly HIT ME

like SUPER BAM!!

. . . now im all sore & what not

RIP SANDY

it hit me like BAM!

california weather

Omylordie. One thing I will never understand is california weather it could be so hot one and and then super cold in ten minutes. Last week was the perfect beach weather and this week is perfect snowboarding weather. Lol anyways this week has been a crazy week. Practice every single day for the damn dance concert. But I gotta admiit its so much fun with these giirls lol. I've been super exhausted and I've been working on my procrastination. I'm getting alll my ish done and it feeels great! I just cant wait til summer when ima leave this valleyy for a cool ass minute. One day I'm dreading to come is valentines day. :( oh gosh, haha fuuuckkkk vday! And I'm going to start planning my biggg ass bday bash in april, around spring break, hopefully the weather will be nice cause who the F knows, but im turning 18 babyyy!!! oh boy am i excited. But in the mean timee... I got ish too do, duces!

lost

I'm so lost and confused how I feel right now. These crazy thoughts are running through my mind Its like I'm cold one moment and then quickly hot on some bi polar shit. I always wanna think back and ask what if what if, all the possibilities drive me insane. Its come to the point where I blame myself. When in reality, its not something I should do. Its come to the point where I sleep and even dream about it, but about what? Ugh that's so annoying.

when you hit rock bottom... theres nowhere to go but up

. . . have you been @ that point where everything just seems to be going wrong. and everyone around you seems to irritate you in some way? take a moment to breathe and everything will be okay. having patients is the key, time will only heal.

this weekend was one of the best weekends I've had after having a really rough month. surrounding myself with people that are able to put a smile on your face, makes me truly . . . happy, something i haven't been feeling in a while. thank god for the 3 day weekend cause the beach mission on Sunday was super BOMB, with the funnest people. standing there with my toes in the pacific ocean and the warm breeze just giving you a comfortable feeling, weird right? warm breeze @ the beach? all i have to say, it was one of the best feelings ever. for the first time in a while i felt like I was in control, and nothing else mattered. listening to Scrody talk about how beautiful everyone was nothing but laughter. [i love you Scrody!!]. all of a sudden Scrody gets naked and wants to run into the water. everyone got naked and got into the water. and after a long day of not eating, making a stop @ in n out & GRUBBIN. and of course conversating wiith my recently re-united best friend, one of the REALest person i ever met. can you say perfect?? :]

i honestly believe that the community makes this so called "life" complicated. we over exaggerate and think a little bit too much. if we accept things the way they are we wouldn't have complications, i honestly think it would decrease our "stress". it's all fake and we make this thing called "stress". like everyone wants to say "IDGAF" i dont care bullshit, but who really folllows that? like for real, sit back and relax, enjoy time while it's here.

winter break

was pretty bomb over all, i think everyone needed those 3 weeks off just to relax & do what they had to do. it fell short though didn't it? anypoo, i hope everyone had a great new years. oh yes & i might add, i got into csun. hah not that great but hey my first acceptance letter to a college was pretty exciting. ugh and today was the first day of school, the day i never wanted to come. it was alright, i just hate the whole working & waking up early kinda ish. now im just tired, i wanna nap and then do my homework. that'll be great. im off, ima update later.